Dear CM88,

In this lesson, I’ll discuss how everything in life tends to balance out, no matter how far outside the boundaries you feel. You’ll learn to:

• Weather any storm that comes your way;
• Accept challenges with a positive attitude; and
• Confidently approach difficult problems and find synergistic solutions.

Bullet points made it look like I was serious, right? I mean, I am, but you won’t learn anything from anything I say.

For what it’s worth, notwithstanding the click-bait title (sorry, still trying to figure out how, or when you will find out about me, so I’ve resorted to low common denominator tactics), I am serious. Equilibrium is an essential undercurrent of life. Parity, which suggests that all things are equally good, bad, or otherwise, while potentially boring as a concept, also magnetizes life so that its pendulum only swings so far from center. Those who exist completely on one fringe or the other, probably have a better chance of landing in a history book, but there is an incredible gamble as to whether the memory is positive or negative. But most of us exist in the boundaries of the centralized and karmic even flow of life. (I just took several minutes to watch that video on repeat…JOSH!)

By all of this I mean – relax. Mistakes happen, forks appear in roads, choices are made. You and I endured one of the strangest forks two beings could face: a fork in time. You remained and I propelled forward to what is a not-all-that-different future. Sure, we have less water, and more bozos taking pictures on their iPads, but life is generally flowing in the same way it did 100 years ago. It was eloquently stated in Forrest Gump that “Sh*t Happens.” It does. It did. It will.

I am embracing the future, my friend. There is a change of pace that I was ready for prior to the jump, I yearned for it and I did not expect it to be so fulfilling. But even in a jarring change, such as a state of being, or you know, time travel, there remains equilibrium in the world. You lose a case, then you find $100 in your pocket. You win a case, and you get a parking ticket. Up, down, and around. Money in, money out, calories in, calories out.

One way of illustrating this: imagine you are riding a bicycle into 35 mph wind. It’s miserable. You slog along and feel like you are going no where. You can (A) keep riding into the wind, because you have to, maybe you are trying to get home, or (B) you can accept the wind, and turn around and let it take you. Of course option (B) could take you where you had no intention of going. The point is, it doesn’t matter. You set out to do one thing and it ended up completely different than you intended. It ended up being different and you fought it and it led to regret, and resentment that you made a “wrong” choice. Your choice wasn’t wrong, it had consequences you may not have enjoyed, but it was just a choice. When the wind blows hard enough, maybe it is time to explore different options that you did not know existed when you got on the bike in the first place (extending this metaphor past its reasonable use). Or you say “F*** you, wind,” and you keep riding and grind through to your goal’s completion. At the end of option (A), maybe there is something worth fighting for.

The point is to keep perspective. Remember where you came from, and accept that where you are going may not be clear, and that is ok. Traveling through space, and time, it’s about as unclear as it gets. Relationships, jobs, chores, hobbies, all of it takes work, and infinite amounts of choices. Left/right, Brand/generic, TJ’s/Vons, this job/that job, her/her/him/him, Wire/Sopranos. Ultimately, the decision itself may matter less than the response to the decision. But maybe you just have to vibe out a bit and chill.

We are infinitesimally too small for any of our decisions to matter. I couldn’t even fill this page with how many zeros I’d need to write, just to try to explain the size of the universe. We are on a planet that is inside of a massive galaxy, that is likely one of BILLIONS of other galaxies. I don’t know what a billion of anything is, I hardly know what to do with a $100 bill. (I do actually, I do what everyone does, stare at it lustfully and then put it in my wallet and then take it out every 17 seconds to make sure it is still there.). I’d say surround yourself with people who understand that life is essentially a flat line, when you zoom out far enough. So, you know, when you have to make a tough decision, just relax, both options are probably good, and it’ll be ok.

But please, don’t make the wrong decision, for Peter’s sake.

To recap what we learned:

• When faced with a difficult decision, reason it out, make the best call, and then say, “sweet brah.”
• When you get the short end of the stick, think of all the awesome things you can do with the shorter stick.
• When the wind blows against you, curse really loudly.
• When you don’t have a choice in a matter, act like whatever option gets chosen for you was the one you were gonna choose all along.
• Laugh at some jokes. Don’t laugh at other jokes. (I know this is not at all related but I had your attention and I think it is worth recognizing that some jokes don’t even warrant a courtesy laugh. It’s really more of a courtesy silence, which politely indicates to the joke teller that their joke is not at all funny and needs to be work-shopped some more. They’ll appreciate it in the future. I know, because I am in the future.).

You learned it all, congratulations!

Yours You-ly,

CM15

Confused about what is going on here? Maybe some back story will help.