America will turn 235 on July 4, 2011

2011 is certainly a year of optimism. Only 5 days in, I have a feeling that people are ready to take on new challenges, with a revitalized sense of accomplishment. In 2008, the United States welcomed in a new leader, under the banner of “Hope”, while underestimating how disheartening a recession can be. For three years, small talk has become synonymous with chattering about “the market”, “sub-prime mortgages”, and “this economy”. In colleges around the country, students are accepting the reality that there might not be a job waiting for them. Unemployment grew, disenfranchisement hardened.

And as unsatisfying as the phrase is, “this too shall pass.” As is the case every year, the end of 2010 was like taking out the trash. Trash that has been sitting in the house, permeating every room. Some of the scents may have been pleasant at one time or another, but by December 31, I think everyone was ready to start thinking about the new year. (I know many people who had wonderful years, some of the best, financially or otherwise, even they are ready to start 2011).

November 25, 2010 - Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade - Next year the Parade will be 87 years old

2010 was a year of change. It brought new delights, new challenges, new relationships, new failures, new successes, new cities, new jobs, and for me, a new family member. And change is good – that is the pilgrim’s progress. And now, we all have a clean slate. A brand new year to pick up the pieces, rebuild, and regain control.

February 7, 2010 - Ken and Summer get married in New Zealand

June 12, 2010 - Paul and Sabrina get married in Granite Bay, CA

It is time to think seriously about our resolutions. Not just our trite attempts to make it to the gym, or stop biting our nails. I mean really re-evaluate who we are. Resolve to be different. Life is undeniably boring without change. Stability is the mirage of the middle class. It is time to start asking ourselves what changes need to occur? What have we resolved to do, to be, to become?

As a New York denizen, I have become acutely aware of the faults around me. New York City’s main fault as I see it, is selfishness. It’s a hermit’s haven, and paradoxically so. With so many people, the dam of congeniality simply broke long ago. Now, the expectation is privacy, one-wordedness, and convenience. And for all it’s ease, it’s still decidedly the hardest place to live (assuming you aren’t a millionaire). It might have been the land of opportunity at one point, but like the rest of the country, I flocked here only to find the dried bones. But where one man’s trash is another man’s trash-scented treasure, even I believe that the dried up well of humanity can be full again.

2011 is a year in which I wholeheartedly believe Kanye West will not have the Album of the Year (I don’t personally believe he had it in 2010 either). I don’t believe that the Best Picture Award will go to my favorite choice. I don’t believe that I will have a dream salary. I do however believe that Americans will start rolling with the punches. My hope is that we stop expecting, and start doing. 2011 will only be as good as we make it.

My New Years’ Resolution last year was to stop reading commentary on websites, most notably refraining from delving into the murderously offensive and obtuse comments on Youtube. But if you have noticed, Youtube has changed its format, now displaying the most “liked” comments near the top, so they are nearly impossible to miss. Needless to say, I broke my rule, and peaked at the comments after watching an Andrew Bird video. Here’s what zhurein had to say:

Andrew Bird is an alien. Things like this aren’t made on earth. F***ing incredible.

(censorship added).

Here’s the thing, zhurein is right. Andrew Bird is not a human being, I am convinced of that. Whether he was manufactured on this planet, is an entirely different discussion. But the fact remains, he is not a human being. I have had the privilege of seeing him live (meaning in person, again, an entirely different discussion as to whether a non-human can “live”) three times. Each time I had the same reaction: quitting music entirely for the next unknown period of time. When people are this good, its hard to reconcile even trying to be an amateur.

It’s like when you get out of high school, and realize, well, I got my varsity letter, but maybe it’s time to hang up the cleats and try something else. Except, we all know the people who never hung it up: still wear the letterman jacket, still go to Friday night games, and end up coaching JV special teams. For those of us with any decency, we knew when to call it quits. All I am saying is if you play the violin and you know Andrew Bird exists, why keep trying?

With five solo albums and a whole basket of live albums, EP’s, and collaborations, it’s hard to see how he hasn’t exploded on the charts yet. His newest album, an instrumental work called Useless Creatures, is out now, and you can get it from his website, or any other reputable audio-dealer. I’m not going to waste time describing Andrew Bird’s music, that’s a little like trying to describe the Colosseum to a Roman. Not only it is a waste of time, it’s just offensive.

Andrew Bird is decidedly this fall’s preferred music choice.

In case you were wondering, the top “liked” comment on the video above was from otr15 at 68 “likes”:

I just sh*t my pants.

(censorship added). When was the last time any one’s incontinence made 68 people happy?

Proof that Andrew Bird is an alien.

As most family dramas go, the show features the varying difficulties of raising teenagers. With a masochistic son and a charmingly conniving daughter, its obvious that the Addams’ are in for some pratfalls when young Wednesday falls in love with Lucas Beineke, an unimpetuous Ohioan. Nathan Lane carries the show as Gomez, the father trying to keep everyone happy, in a haunted mansion inside the depths of a forest vaguely resembling Central Park. The ensemble of ghosts adds to the mastery of the stage direction, and keeps the at-times annoyingly silly acting on pace.

Despite an apparent lack of “Broadway Classics” this play does deliver a full set of songs, and conjures up the jovially dark spirits of the old TV family. It’s a shame Halloween came and went, but for those of you still interested in some cynical jabs and dark Broadway humor, the show will go on.

The Addams Family plays almost nightly at the Lunt-Fontanne Theatre (205 West 46th Street (between Broadway and 8th Ave)), and if its Nathan Lane you are after, act fast, he won’t be in the show in 2011.

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IB’s List of Most Famous Fictional Television Families

1. The Simpsons
2. Brady Bunch
3. The Cleavers (Leave it to Beaver)
4. The Addams Family
5. The Tanners (Full House)
6. The Partridges
7. Mickey and Minnie’s Barren Womb
8. The Cosby’s
9. The Sopranos
10. The Matthews’ (Boy Meets World)

You tell me…

They are literally just giving out knowledge and they don’t care who knows about it – Mo’ (who sat across from me)

There’s no denying that if there is one place on earth that strikes the equilibrium of genius and insanity, its the Brooklyn Public Library (“BPL”). At very few other places do massive amounts of information come together to foster untold levels of begrudging and entertaining craziness. For those of you in need of a bastion from Starbucks’ ultra-commercial-indie escapades, and need a quiet place to study, this might not actually solve your problems. The BPL isn’t quiet at all. It’s a bustling, vibrant place to be on a Saturday. With very few places to sit, it doesn’t even really foster the learning environment that one might expect. But somehow, the muffled sounds of people rudely talking around you while you work, actually cancels out into white noise (somehow the aggregate of noise is soothing, like crickets at night).

But I am convinced no one really comes here to learn. This is people watching at its best. Here is a case study:

What do these titles have in common?

1. Muhammad Ali: Through the Eyes of the World
2. Allende: Death of a Marxist Dream
3. The Butcher of Lyon: The Story of Infamous Nazi Klaus Bardie
4. Nurturing a Child’s Soul
5. The Body and Society: Men, Women, and Sexual Renunciation in Early Christianity
6. Skydog: The Duane Allman Story
7. Sex, Priests, and Power: Anatomy of a Crisis
8. In the Path of the Masters: Understanding the Spirituality of Buddha, Confucius, Jesus, and Muhammad
9. Dreamtime and Inner Space: The World of the Shaman
10. Sacred Journey of the Peaceful Warrior

Each of these titles, was successively planted loudly in a row on the table I was working at. The mustachio’d man, aggressively slamming them down, of course began mumbling to himself. I had ear plugs in, and I could still hear he was talking. Equate it to when the adults speak in Charlie Brown. He would read about 30 seconds of each, before discussing the works to himself, and then move to the next title. I was trying desperately not to be distracted, but, when I saw the story of Duane Allman sandwiched between two books on Christian Sexuality, I was piqued.

You see, this is a new level of craziness. This isn’t your run of the mill, heroin-blazed loony. This is an educated class. It’s the kind of insane arrogance that says, I don’t need to pay for college, I will come and get my Street Degree from the BPL. And when I am done with these books? Not only will I not put them away, but I won’t even take my pants off when I go pee. Needless to say, I had inadvertently been left with all the necessary books to write a thesis paper on Duane Allman’s sex crazed journey into Shamanism.

About 20 minutes after this gentlemen left me in reverie, a subsequent man, who hardly spoke English, came and sat in the same spot, to write a paper on Constantine. I know this how? Because he wouldn’t stop talking to me. In fact, I only realized this after about a minute went by of him talking before I looked up and realized he was talking to me. (earplugs, remember). Once I de-plugged, I sat with a blank face as he tried to explain what he was doing, all of which faintly resembled him asking me a question. Here are the words I got (seriously): “Canada,” “2 page paper,” “not versed,” “Constantine,” “good man,” “which one.” I can only assume he was trying to tell me that Canada is not well versed on the History of Constantine, who was a good man, and that he couldn’t decide if he should buy Ocean Rain, or Fresh Linen scented laundry detergent. In any event, after a blank-stare-off between us, I pointed to the third book in his stack and said,”I’d start with this one.”

But the wildest thing about the interaction, was that all I could think about, was writing a two page paper. I remember a time where that sounded like just the hardest thing in the world to do. Then they invented Wikipedia.

The bottom line: BPL is not only free, it’s better than Broadway. Also: It’s the homeless shelter of the 21st century.

They have a cafe also, and I hear their Adult Education is incredible.

There you have it, another adventure into the unknown. You go to the library to learn, and you exit knowing less about the world, and where you are in it.

As one who is short on cash, time, or friends, you might find yourself on Weekend nights pondering how to avoid hours of TNT weekend movies. (For those of you with hoards of any of the above (including TNT movies) please just leave). If this is you, first, let me say, TNT plays some hilariously bad movies on the weekends and ending up in front of the tube with some BAC boosters and popcorn might actually be better than going out. But for the ansty-pantsy types, looking to “class” up a Saturday night, Brooklyn Museum has got you covered.

The first Saturday of every month, your friends at Target allow you to go to the Brooklyn Museum of Art for free, until 11 pm.  The Museum offers curated talks, live music, dancing, and extended hours all for the price of just showing up. Before you get all excited about free art, or Target, heed this caveat, it’s more like a high school dance than a classy night at the museum.  Like most things in New York that are marketed as “free”, you have to be willing to handle a solid dose of buffoonery. Although there is no catch to it being free, no dollar signs, means the floodgates are opened, people come in droves, and over-saturate space.

Case in point, you can buy beer in the foyer. I imagine the art snobs feel like Jesus catching people selling goods in the temple when they see the PBR’s being cracked in the lobby. But if that doesn’t irk them, they may be maddened that access to the European paintings gallery is all but blocked by the DJ set from 8-10, turning the wide space into an 18 and over dance club (I am not even positive there is a minimum age requirement, so your liabilities increase exponentially).

Club Dunk at the Brooklyn Museum

When the lights come back on, and the dizzying display of sweaty -browed twenty-somethings comes to an end, you can at least view some Renoir’s on your way out.

Though, if Art is your interest, get there for the early part, or just go on Sunday afternoon, pay, and enjoy the quiet. BMA has an impressive collection of pieces from all over the world, with entire wings devoted to Asia and Africa.

But, if you are antsy about going out on Saturday, chances are the post 9 crowd is for you. More people are looking around for dates than perusing the antiques.

They say there’s no such thing as a free lunch. I believe them. But there is free art. Next first Saturday: November 6, 2011.

Getting There: Take the Subway (2 or 3) to Eastern Parkway/Brooklyn Museum.

Notably similar freebies: MOMA (free on Fridays from 4-8pm), Whitney Museum (pay what you wish Fridays 6-9pm), MET (pay what you wish, always).

Please let Commando be playing on TNT on November 6.

The burning question is: Is it worth it?

The answer is yes. Yes for so many reasons other than that it never sleeps, or that it has Broadway, or because Wall Street, or the Yankees. It is yes because if  a city can destroy you, that city has the same propensity to make you great. For this reason, it stands the test of durability. True, New York will harden soft souls. True, this hardening has led to a rough-around-the-edges attitude that makes people untrusting, and unwilling to hand you a can of soup at the grocery store. But like the firming of one’s abs, New York will take the pudge off your core. It will replace your naiveté with a critical eye. It’s boot camp for your heart.

But to continue the abs analogy, too much hardening will rot the goodness inside you. Too many crunches make people look militaristicly, and unnaturally strong. You want a 6 pack, but you want your clothes to still fit like human’s would.

In light of these musings, one must find places of solace to embrace the balance of these conflicting natures (those that enhance, and destroy mankind). I present to you now, my awards for this year, the places that keep people sane in this ludicrous place.

Best Park: High-Line Park (Central Park is the obvious winner, but come on). Runner Up: Inwood Park – High-line is a converted above-ground railroad that has been turned into a park. It spans a number of blocks, and allows a great view over the Hudson.

Best Landmark: The Cloisters (perfect getaway, won’t even feel like the city) Runner Up: Times Square at 5am (unpopulated)

Best Live Music Venue: Bowery Ballroom – Great for seeing $10-25 shows of up-and comers.

Best Bar: Scratcher Cafe (5th st.); Runner Up: Little Branch (Leroy and 7th ave) – Both excellent for avoiding dubious crowds. Little Branch makes only Depression Era Cocktails.

Scratcher

Best Train: Q train. – Most reliable, spacious, clean, and effective.

Best  Coffee Shop: Grey Dog (University Place) – Mostly bearded staff.

Best Cheer Up Meal: Wo Hop (17 Mott St.) – Hole in the wall Chinese Food in China Town. As authentic as it gets.

Most Common Cheer Up Meal: Chipotle (anywhere) -  Corporate burritos are honestly the best Mexican food you can find here. Chavella’s in Prospect Heights gets close.

Best Neighborhood to be out after 4am: East Village (With my neighborhood probably being the worst) Most abundance of restaurants and bars in the city.

Best Grocery Store: Trader Joe’s (but not for solace, just for price/quality) – The only way to be successful at TJ’s is to shop in pairs. One person on line while the other gets the goods.

Best Getaway: Governor’s Island – Island where government officials used to be housed, now a public art space. Great for concerts and picnics.

Best Live Show: Grizzly Bear, BK Waterfront; Runner up: Kings of Convenience (The Warsaw)

Best Museum: American Museum of Natural History remains the chart topper for me. – Clearly the Met is a chart topper, but like Central Park, it’s too obvious as a choice.

Best place to think: Rose Reading Room, New York Public Library

Rose Reading Room

Best place to feel like you are making all sorts of mistakes: Chili’s, Jersey City, NJ

Best place to see Steve Nash: Tribeca

Best Pizza: The Original Ray’s, (6th ave. and 11th st) I stand by this. Better than Grimaldi’s. Runner Up: L & L’s Sicilian (Brooklyn)

Best Burger: Stand 4 (12th St and University) – Hard to root against Shake Shack, which might win for longest wait for a burger. Stand is a surprise winner.

Best Netflixed Film: Schindler’s List

Best Netflixed Series: Mad Men

Best reason to stay in besides Poverty: Netflix

Best Discovery: NY Public Library allows you to download audiobooks for free; Runner Up: It is illegal to charge a credit card minimum at a bar (they will not be pleased if you try to fight this though, trust me)

Best Musical: In the Heights

Most Romantic Spot: Central Park Mall (Late Fall)

This year’s drink of choice: Gin and Tonic

Best Resolution: No Soda; Runner Up: no cigarettes

Best Public Restroom: Bryant Park – Neo-Classical design, attendant on hand, free.

Well there you have it. The Solace Awards. The things in this city that allow one to maintain a balance of ambition and relaxation. Keep an eye out for the Incontinence Awards, the ways in which this city has really wet itself over the last year.

Thanks for participating in what has been a glorious year of discovery, exploration, commentary, and most importantly, incontinence.

Yours,

Incontinental Breakfast

Local Natives - photo courtesy Bandsintown.com

Like a father to a son, I feel like I have tacitly watched Local Natives grow into themselves. Every so often, you find a band that you wish you were in. You wish you were friends with the guys, writing songs, making music. You want to be a part of the process. Over the last year, Local Natives has been that band for me. Ever since hearing of them, I have been convinced of their looming success. It was only a matter of time before they gained enough steam to become a musical juggernaut.

The gestation period for a band must be incalculable. Some bands get a quick start; either sheer talent, or connections jolts them into success faster than others. Some bands work for a decade before commercially, or sonically becoming successful. Some are ahead of their time, and are unable to make it while living, but can release albums posthumously and allow their estates to flourish. But some bands fall somewhere in between.

Local Natives, a Southern California, quintet of harmonizing, multi-percussional, indie rockers, have finally emerged to make a bigger name for themselves. They played their largest show to date, at New York’s Governor’s Island last Saturday, as part of the Gone to Governor’s Island music series. The gestation period for Local Natives has been relatively normal. Like most bands, you form, and play shows, record an EP, and gain local support. Local Natives however, was fortunate enough to create a buzz, and open for Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros last fall. This summer they have proved their worth, playing at some of the major summer festivals as well.

In a business as over-saturated and unpredictable as music, bands have a hard time staying afloat. Amidst swindly record labels, and diminished returns from digital sales, the business is all the harder to remain hopeful and optimistic. But the Local Natives seem to have a spirit of unabashed creativity. Their first album, Gorilla Manor, is a wide spectrum of introspective and expressive songs, releasing what seems to be the “lost boys” in each of the members. The tribal percussion and the multi-part harmonies, conjure what some have described as a West Coast Grizzly Bear. True, they have a similar harmonic sound to the Grizz, or to Fleet Foxes, but certainly those bands have no monopoly on harmonies (See Beach Boys, Beatles, etc.).

The Governor’s Island show may have been the largest crowd they have seen, but they acted like they had been there before. New York is not always an easy crowd to play to, but with the setting sun, Manhattan skyline, or artificial beach, the band showcased their professionalism and thankfulness for the support. Local Natives heads off to Europe for the rest of their tour, and will be back in the US in the fall. I strongly suggest you see them before their ticket prices rise.

Sun Hands – Live

Airplanes – Official Video

Henry Clay Frick

Fifth Avenue has an unprecedented reputation of elitism. As the bisecting line for a large part of Manhattan, it is perhaps New York’s second most famous artery behind Broadway. Along Central Park, Fifth Avenue is known as the Museum Mile. With copious museums (Met, Guggenheim, etc.), this stretch of land is high-brow, high culture. Hence, a fitting place to purchase an entire block for the establishment of an estate.

Henry Clay Frick made such a purchase in 1910. Acquiring the block at 70th Street and Fifth Avenue, Frick stirred the pot amongst his peers. He was known by critics as “America’s Most Hated Man”. H.C. Frick was a coke magnate. Not that kind of coke. Coke is an essential element in the production of steel, converted from coal. Frick, after dropping out of college, decided he would be a millionaire by the age of 30. And he did it. By partnering with Steel Legend Andrew Carnegie, the two companies forged a stronghold on Steel production in the Northeast. With such a titanic backbone of industrial power, Frick was launched into commercial success.

Thus, Frick had money to spare. His penchant for art created the perfect arena for his millions to be spent on. And with an entire block in a coveted part of Manhattan, Frick had the ideal place to house his art. So there it stands, The Frick Collection. After Frick’s passing, the museum was created, and stands today as an emblem of luxurious patronage.

The Frick Collection

The mansion itself is impressive enough, but the collection is exhaustively amazing. Housing paintings from David, Joshua Reynolds, Titian, El Greco, Thomas Gainsborough and Rembrandt (to name a few), Frick had a keen eye for art. He collected an array of portraits, many by English artists, but his crowning piece, as far as I am concerned, is the self-portrait by Rembrandt. Arguably Rembrandt’s most impressive self-portrait, it comes from his later years, showing the mature artist, dressed in royal regalia.

Self-Portrait, Rembrandt - The Frick Collection

The museum gives free audioguides, and has a short documentary on Henry Clay Frick. He may have been the most hated man in America at one time, but his legacy lives on in the art world, and he probably only remains hated by wealthy collectors, unable to get their hands on Frick’s finest.

Although the Museum Mile has bigger art complexes, this collection is well worth the visit, and is off the path a bit from the overcrowded Met or Guggenheim.

visit http://www.frick.org/ for more info on the museum.

Photo Courtesy of SugaJam.com

The energy it gives off could light up the George Washington Bridge for a year or two – Charles Isherwood, NY Times

That said, In the Heights is a show for New Yorkers. Although much of it is transparent enough for an audience in any city, the innuendos and references are smothered with scents only a New York resident can pick up. Like an expensive wine, everyone can taste it and enjoy it, but only the connoisseur can pick up the subtleties. The genius resides in the nuanced  humor, ranging from what streets to take, to what neighborhoods to avoid. Further, it is a show for 2010. It is not a classic, and in 20 years, who knows if it will even be a memory, but it captures this decade relatively well. I am not sure how this show will be received elsewhere, or for that matter, by people who have never even heard of Washington Heights. However, according to reviews from the tour, it seems to be doing well all over the country.

Avoid a heat wave, and catch the love story of Usnavi, Vanessa, Benny, and Nina; the story of a girl’s homecoming, the story of a neighborhood banding together after a major black out 2003 (blame ConEd). And if you live in NYC, break free of the Lower 96. Emerge, and visit the Heights. Disappointment not allowed.

http://www.intheheightsthemusical.com/

*American Idol fans: Jordin Sparks joins the cast in late August.

Photo courtesy of www.Broadwaywestsidestory.com

Hell’s Kitchen. Jets vs. Sharks. If you have a hard time imagining gang wars between scantily robed, rail-skinny dancers, you aren’t alone. Besides the fact that this is a Broadway classic, West Side Story is hard to swallow in light of The Warriors (classic tale of a Brooklyn gang, just trying to get home). However, for years this Tony-winning musical has been a hit. Maybe it’s the catchy tunes like “I’m so Pretty”, or “America”, or, maybe, because it’s a story that is relatable beneath the surface. Turf wars in New York have existed since the Metropolis began. Immigrants moved in, took over neighborhoods, and created little townships of their own. New immigrants came later. Then new ones after that. People came from the East, then back from the West. New York has always had a certain gravitational pull. With that pull comes the divisive nature of humanity: to claim ownership. With time, neighborhoods change; amalgamated areas emerge, new species’ of neighborhoods evolve. DUMBO, BoCoCa, TriBeCa, and now the potential NoMad (north of Madison Square Park). The play makes sense because New Yorkers know the premium for space, the premium for comfort, the premium to feel accepted. A neighborhood of fellow nationals can be the best security in a lonely city.

Beyond the territorial battle, the play is a modern spin-off of Romeo and Juliet. Boundaries are broken, relationships at stake. This particular run has attempted to incorporate more Spanish, which although more authentic, has proven difficult for lay patrons. Yet despite early criticisms, the play has worked itself out to be a reputable new edition.

Extra Credit: There are over 8 million people living in New York City. In 2009, 1,130,818 gained legal residence into the United States from other countries. 189,860 of those were for the New York Metropolitan area. The leading countries were Dominican Republic (around 30,000) and China (around 21,000).

If you are interested in further immigration statistics on New York, or the United States, click here and explore the Department of Homeland Security’s website.

For more information on West Side Story, click here.